KING OF THEIR OWN EMPIRE
The Large Scale Narcissist
Please excuse the monarchical reference, this is a genderless term.
A King Of Their Own Empire is a type of narcissist who has built a community surrounding themselves and operates in that community as the self appointed leader. The KOTOE’s false reality is that the Empire they have built is the highest society in existence, and it’s theirs. They have a magnified sense of self and self entitlement, which can often lend to success and power, making them charming leaders. They are determined to serve only themselves and construct a dynamic that feeds their reality where the players also serve only them.
KOTOEs have organizational skills and high tempers which makes them both demanding and effective promoters and business owners. They tend to run their own business or be the ones dishing out commands in the work place because they are essentially unable to work with other people nor follow anyone else’s rules. A KOTOE will viciously insist on deference and have no restraints against disciplinary lashings. They will use any gain or accreditation to validate themselves amongst their pupil and make the Empire as appealing as possible. The Empire itself is also a validation tool.
KOTOEs will personally conduct their own screening process on newcomers to asses their utility value. No one enters the Empire without appraisal. They micromanage relationships between members in their Empire, and do not regard any relationship amongst their pupil as valid or as valid as the relationship between any particular pupil and themselves. They have no relationships outside of their Empire and solely fraternize with people they have inducted into it. They have blind faithful acolytes, yet are notorious for burning bridges. They present their own lives as the primary topic amongst community members and relish in the self affirmations of the discussion as it feeds their need to feel powerful and important. Gaslighting, feigning public diplomacy, bending the truth, and dishonest self claims on character that oppose their behavior behind closed doors are common tactics of manupulation. Often, love/sex interests are quarantined in these societies, silenced, and expected to be loyal to solely them and constantly abreast to their whereabouts, almost like worship. These victims are doomed to become offenders, for their own good.
Social media by in large, aids in the projected image of the KOTOE as a lure. It also acts as the KOTOE’s ongoing exhibition of ego stroking self tape pornography.
“…the internet via such social network tools as Facebook, Twitter, U-Tube, and blogging, facilitates the constant protean creation and recreation of the individual. It is also a new stalking ground for the hungry narcissist who knows far better than most how to play this game in this new arena.” (Boyd, 2010)
Richard Boyd, Mind Body Psychotherapist, provides extensive detail on functions of narcissistic behavior in “Narcissistic Leaders and their Manipulation in Group Dynamics” detailing every facet of their subtypes, tactics, camouflage, habits, stages of manipulation, types of followers, and so much more (it’s a life changing read, I highly reccomend). In his article, he describes a three staged manipulation tactic: 1) Prey and Selection, 2) Manipulation and Control, and 3) Drain, Devour, and Discard. The KOTOE reserves the third stage of discarding their victims for unruly citizens. Part of their inflated narcissism relishes in a constant 2nd stage of a mass following. The third stage is completed as a punishment and made a spectacle out of. The KOTOE ejaculates at their followers’ loyalty and affirmations in a public execution of the “offender.” Any siding or defending the offender would either elicit the same response or trigger paranoia at the possibility of a downfall or even overtaking the Empire. If the KOTOE fears that their Monarchy is at risk, they would then utilize a protean manipulation tactic of revelation and transformation that’s also made a spectacle of, feigning a humanistic element of post mistake apology equipped with a baptism and reinvention of self for further public praise. This move will only depend on how significant and agreeable the coup and is purposed in maintaining the KOTOE’s following and Empirical structure.
“They position themself like gods to be all things to all people, or to be the winner, the person with the last word, the most important contributor, to induce trust and create followers, so they can then harvest from the unwary gullible believer whatever agenda the narcissist has in mind for them.” (Boyd, 2010)
The members of the community are unaware or complacent in this dynamic and keep the society fully functioning, contributing to it, representing it, and promoting it. They are a coalition of enablers. Members may be thankful to the KOTOE for creating the group believing they did it for the good of the community, when they more likely did it out of a need to feel heard and highly regarded by a following, mitigating a pathology by fulfilling an emptiness. The KOTOE will always maintain their self centered stance within the Empire regardless of its self sustainment as the purpose of the Empire is to serve only them and not itself or its members. It is fully possible, that without their Empire, the creator would regress deeper into the pathology that prompted the need for such a dynamic. In either case, they are toxic to themselves and many poeple around them. Their Empire is how they cope.
Participating in such a society may feel like inclusion into any group and can surely come with individual befinits. However, it should be proceeded with caution and awareness that doing so is feeding the ego of a narcissist and perpetuating the fallacy that they are the King of this Empire they created and, furthermore, that you, the pupil, are essentially participating only to serve them.
Reference “Narcissistic Leaders and their Manipulation in Group Dynamics” by Richard Boyd, Body Mind Psychotherapist, Energetics Institute, Perth, West Australia Copyright 2010